Manager scolds barista for rejecting customer's advances, instructs her to tell him to come again if he wants to see her: 'That encourages him to be even more creepy'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 5, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Being a young woman working in the service industry is all about being able to put up with a constant barrage of humiliation and abuse. Customers can literally say anything they want to you, and you're expected to take it and have a good attitude. You have to have an incredibly chill and sweet demeanor, even when you're being screamed at by a dad because there are peanuts on his Kung Pao Chicken. 

There are some circumstances where a manager needs to intervene when an employee is being harmed by the customers. If a creepy guy is learning at young female employees, it is a manager's duty to tell him to stop. That, unfortunately, wasn't the case when a customer recently asked a young barista for her number, and she declined. Instead of asking if she was okay, her manager scolded her for rejecting the customer outright instead of lying.

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  • 01
    r/antiwork u/chaeartncos • 5h . As a barista, I got scolded by my manager for telling a customer I don't want to give him my phone number
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 02
    I love my job, I love the company I work in, but today I got upset because my manager told me to mind my attitude since I'm at the front with customers.
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 03
    Today the queue was long and there was many people behind him, and while taking his latte order, I asked him what else would you like today? He told me I could use ur phone number too and he handed me a note and paper, I passed it back to him and said, I'm sorry sir there's many in line waiting please step aside and wait for your order. There was some boos from the customers behind him and some even said we dont mind just give him the number. The manager stepped in and told him sorry for her (my
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 04
    pekak62.5h Give him your manager's number. Reply 2.8k
    via u/pekak62
  • 05
    chaeartncos OP. 5h Thing is, she doesnt even share her number to us. Only email and cafe number 776
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 06
    morningstar216 • 5h If she doesn't share her personal details with you (Which she is perfectly valid in doing) a person she knows at work. She should definitely not expect you to give out your personal phone number to a complete stranger all for company appearance. This is a matter of personal safety and privacy she doesn't get to dictate that. I think what you said was perfectly fine ... 834
    via u/morningstar216
  • 07
    chaeartncos OP. 5h Thank you, to be clear she didnt want me to hand out my number, she spoke to me and scolded me to be more professional since im always in contact with customers and speak in a way that still wants the customer to keep coming back for me instead of outright saying No. She's basically telling me like, he wants my number, make him keep coming back but dont give him. Which i find disgusting 478
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 08
    Billowing Flags ⚫ 4h • "Please come again if you want to see me!" Is she for real?!? Tell your boss that you're a barista not a ! You're not there to be ogled, evaluated, hit on, or harassed. Suggesting that you should encourage some creeper to come back daily to harass you in the hopes of eliciting more money from him is creating an unsafe work environment. Remind her that, per the EEOC, "Harassment becomes unlawful where...enduring the offensive conduct becomes a condition of continued employm
    via u/Billowing_Flags
  • 09
    Martin Aurelius • 4h Give out the store number then. ↑ 77
    via u/Martin_Aurelius
  • 10
    chaeartncos OP. 4h I wish i thought of that ... 35
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 11
    overkillsd⚫ 5h Your manager just told you they're encouraging sexual harassment against you. You have a few options. 1. Text your manager with "Just to confirm our conversation earlier, I'm not allowed to outright reject somebody who asks for my personal number, but instead, tell them something to lead them on so they come back and spend more money with us?". Replace earlier with an exact timeframe like "on Tuesday afternoon" to give it more power as documentation of sexual harassment. You can t
    via u/overkillsd
  • 12
    chaeartncos OP. 5h The company is pretty well known coffee chain in Korea where I work, idk if I can give out the exact name but everything is perfect and the coworkers are nice, customers are usually nice, the manager was ok until this happened. So, if I want to keep my job but change my manager's stance on this, I just go to HR? Or file a complaint? ... 983
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 13
    overkillsd⚫ 5h I didn't know anything about Korea culturally or legally in regards to what happened to you. I assumed you were in the US. Rather than give you bad advice, I'd suggest talking to a local labor attorney if they have a free consultation option. Personally, I believe what you experienced is sexual harassment (based on the US definition) and it's not acceptable anywhere in the world. I'm sorry this happened to you. Our experience in the US is that HR only exists to protect the company
    via u/overkillsd
  • 14
    chaeartncos OP. 5h In Korea its not sexual harassment, I heard its a common occurrence and some even cheer for the person for his 'courage' I dont think the law could help me but as long as it doesnt occur frequently to me, i can keep working. Im just upset the manager didnt have my back. Sometimes if theres. complaints about me, our system makes sure i cant find a job elsewhere. So its more worse for me than the guy 46
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 15
    airbornegecko1994 • 5h Why are baristas treated like meat at a butcher shop that middle age men just think they can point and order? I'm assuming it was a middle age man because I've seen this exact scenario happen. It is so creepy. And your manager. "Come back tomorrow if you want to see me." Nope That encourages him to be even more creepy. Reply that. 165
    via u/airbornegecko1994
  • 16
    chaeartncos OP. 5h I wasn't told the proper procedure to handle this situation, so it came out from my quick thinking. Idk why she wants to protect the customer and not me. I get customer relations and support is important, but this is abit too much i think. The employee handbooks says rules i should follow and none about this matter. ← Ŷ 55 ♡
    via u/chaeartncos
  • 17
    youcrumb 5h you don't owe these creeps anything. They are super wrong here, your initial response was fine! The booing customers are equally, and confusingly gross and out of order too. Reply ◇ 97 ↓
    via u/youcrumb
  • 18
    Edit: Thank you for your responses everyone, I really appreciate everyone from this sub for your help and advice! I should have given my cafe business card instead, but it was hard to think of any proper response when I had to think it up on the spot, but hopefully it was in a professional way that didn't hurt anyone's feeling. I didn't expect so much help and support and I'm sorry I couldn't read all the comments so please don't mind if I can't respond to all of you. So sorry
    via u/chaeartncos
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management customer service coffee shop antiwork toxic-manager manager job barista customers toxic-management horrible-management entitled customers managers
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